Evil, Evil, Old Man Joss

Evil, Evil, Old Man Joss*

by Christopher Marlowe

Well the south of LA
Is the best part of town
And if you go down there
You better just beware
Of a man named Old Man Joss

Now Joss, more than trouble
You see he stands less than six foot-four
All the downtown ladies call him “Hottie”
All the men just call him “God”

And he’s the evilest, evilest, Old Man Joss
The most evil man in the whole damned town
More evil than Rod Serling
And meaner than that man Chris Carter

Now Joss, he’s a weevil
And he like his fancy plots
And he like to wave his writing pen
In front of everybody’s nose
He got a unofficial web site
He got a billy goat too
He got a 22-episode story in his mind full of evil
He got a spinoff called Angel

And he’s the evilest, evilest, Old Man Joss
The most evil man in the whole damned town
More evil than Rod Serling
And meaner than that man Chris Carter

Now Friday ’bout 5-years ago
Joss, writin’ scripts
And at the edge of the bar
Sat a girl named Sarah Michelle Gellar
And oo that girl looked nice
Well he cast her in his show
And the trouble soon began
Then good ol’ Joss, he learned a lesson
‘Bout a’ messin’ with the life of the beloved Buffy

And he’s the evilest, evilest, Old Man Joss
The most evil man in the whole damned town
More evil than Rod Serling
And meaner than that man Chris Carter

Well, the Buffster took to fighting
And when he saw her lying there

Joss decided to create a puzzle
By making her dead and gone

And he’s so the best, the best, Old Man Joss
The evilest man in the whole damned town
More evil than Rod Serling
And meaner than that man Chris Carter
More evil than Rod Serling

and meaner than that man Chris Carter

*to the tune of Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown